Archive for the ‘ Codependence ’ Category
Many people swallow too much of who they really are. They stop themselves from disagreeing with others, they smile & nod instead. Women & men bury themselves in too many hours at work or in being an expert caretaker of others and then ignore defining themselves. So many parents lack identity when their kids leave [ READ MORE ]
This 2010 movie is based on a true story. Mickey Ward is a boxer who has been losing when he allows his management to be left in the hands of his drug addicted brother & controlling mother. It’s actually depressing to see his 7 adult sisters lined up on the couch, having never left to [ READ MORE ]
Life is defined by the choices we make. Like a lunch counter menu with too many terrific options or an election where we end up voting between two uninspiring candidates; choices can be a tricky business to figure out. This is why lots of practice in making choices really matters. The only way to do [ READ MORE ]
“I’m not ready to make nice, I’m not ready to back down.” The Dixie Chicks If you never fight, then nobody’s home. Trouble in relationships is always about the extremes. It’s just as problematic as fighting all the time because both lack respect for two people. Often couples arrive in my office surprised to be [ READ MORE ]
Like Uma Thurman, who is buried alive in Kill Bill 2, so many people squelch their life energy in too many ‘shoulds’. ‘Shoulds’ can feed guilt, perfectionism, depression and codependency. ‘Shoulds’, rob relationships of too many necessary truths. I watch people struggle, because it seems impossible to say what they really think and feel. They’re [ READ MORE ]
Early recovery from addictions is a hard process. The success rate of drug or alcohol rehab is only 20%. Recovery requires self-absorption in order to stay on track. This means partners and families get left behind out of necessity. Addicts are overwhelmed with learning what it means to be sober. Learning to be alert in [ READ MORE ]
Many are born with a terrible desire to be liked. I believe Bill Clinton had a terrible desire to be liked when he lied and defined oral sex as not having sex. Nixon wanted to be liked. Too many of us, who are lucky to be ordinary want to be liked. Parents make terrible mistakes [ READ MORE ]
It is a challenge to let go when all you want to do is hang on and control. Let’s begin with why people hang onto control. The kooky things we do always make sense (which is the title of the 4/09/09 entry on this blog). Being in control provides people with a false sense of [ READ MORE ]
I was on a plane circling JFK due to bad weather when the man next to me engaged me in conversation. He was the CEO of a small company that had just hired a psychologist to consult. He prided himself on soliciting input from the staff beneath him and he remarked “I always know where [ READ MORE ]
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