One of the best parts of life is sharing the ride over decades with somebody else. It is also true that finding someone worthwhile is a difficult task. The old adage learn to love yourself first is true. Loving yourself/self esteem is not built upon positive thoughts or heaps of praise. Lets consider self esteem in a more substantial way. When someone can experience both their value, skills & talents and at the same time be honestly aware of their shortcomings that provides a solid sense of self. The secret of self esteem is to be able to embrace both sides of yourself. We live in a world where we learn to turn our backs on complicatedness. People crave the comfort & simplicity of thinking either I am good or I am bad. It’s very hierarchal thinking so the good erases the bad or the bad erases the good. The key to self esteem is to embrace both sides and let the good and bad sit next to each other. Through self awareness and acceptance the bad pile gets smaller as we age.
At this juncture I will recommend my favorite male author Robertson Davies and his novel The Deptford Trilogy. His characters are three dimensional. They are wonderful, foolish, courageous & tragic. Through his characters the reader can accept their own humanity, one of the hardest things to accomplish in only a single lifetime. Receiving this wisdom from his books made me feel like an anonymous grand daughter