My very first blog entry on Feb.12th was 20 Things to be Wary of When Dating. This is about the positive things to look for.
1. Do They Say What They Mean and Mean What They Say?
This is the most important one. (Ask yourself is this also true of you?)
A wonderful laugh-out-loud book that teaches this lesson is the mystery Lucky You by Carl Hiaasen.You have to love an author who makes a Hooters waitress a heroine. I believe this lesson is also to be found in the first American Girl Doll books for children
If something seems nutty, bring it up. If a real dialogue emerges instead of a defensive, deflecting monologue, WOW.
3. Are Your Boundaries Respected?
Boundaries can change if they are respected to begin with. Boundaries should not be apologized for, they are a good reality check and a way to take the temperature of the relationship.
4. Someone Who Takes Responsibility.
From the ages of 13-27, a lot of latitude can be granted. Particularly after the age of 27, an adult needs to take more responsibility if they mistreat someone else or are narcissistic. If the point of love is to be able to grow and become a better person, then taking responsibility and being able to hear honest feedback about yourself is important.
5. They have friends.
6. Will slowed down sexuality be acceptable? This may sound very old-fashioned but fast sexuality easily clouds perceptions. Take time to find out if she/he is worth the investment of knowing them. Restricting yourself to oral sex is not slowed down sexuality.
7. A willingness to problem solve that offers respect for your point of view.
8. Is alcohol consumption choiceful or are they in recovery?
9. Do they have some level of self-awareness?