Sacrifice & Negotiation are Two Requirements When Falling in Love Later in Life

iStock_000007591150XSmallIf someone is single a long time they are used to having things work in a certain way. If two people fall in love later in life it will require more sacrifice than either person realizes or is prepared for. Things will often fall apart because neither person is ready to sacrifice.

Sacrifice because one person’s adult children lost their job and is moving back home with the parent who can afford it.

Sacrifice because money has to be discussed when previously it was a very private thing.

Sacrifice because holidays have to be divided up.

Sacrifice control of the kitchen because there are two people’s ideas and utensils to make room for.

Sacrifice should not be only one person’s agenda. If one person sacrifices too much there will be a huge pile of resentments.

Before moving in together, it would help for both people to practice negotiating. The more skilled in negotiation, with both people honestly addressing their wants and needs the better off any couple will be.

Negotiate: Who’s house or will there be a third new home?

Negotiate: A pre-nup may be protective and make sense. On the other hand, if a lawyer says, don’t sign this it’s unfair, then don’t.

Negotiate: Does one person make more money than the other? How will bills be paid?

Negotiate: Does one person bring a lot of debt? How can this be handled?

Negotiate: How will chores be handled?

Negotiate: How will holidays be shared or divided?

Practice sacrifice and negotiation. Learn to talk & talk & talk & talk & talk to soften the differences.

One thought on “Sacrifice & Negotiation are Two Requirements When Falling in Love Later in Life

  1. Suzanne says:

    Thank you for getting to the heart of the matter. Having been married for the first time over age 40, I found the level of compromise daunting at first. It’s getting easier, but it’s still a task. And, talking it out is the only way to ensure it feels like it’s worth it.

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