The brain is where it’s at in terms of making psychotherapy more effective. Brain research is so exciting it’s almost enough to make me want to start my career over again. One of the most difficult things I encounter is when someone has been rejected in love. No one wants to accept the harsh reality they are now alone, again. Obsessing fills their head like an ice-cube tray with too much water on the delicate trip to the freezer. The one with the broken heart makes calls that go unanswered, sends long-winded emails that are not likely to be read or even does drive bys. Their mind is clenched only in how to bring the loved one back.
Now we have more understanding about why this mindset is so hard to change and the strange behaviors are not surprising. Researchers from Stony Brook University are able to explain what makes broken hearts so unbearable. Brain images clearly show a link between “romantic rejection and a cocaine craving”. So breaking up is like giving up cocaine in the brain. Follow this link to read more details: http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/07/23/researchers-identify-why-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/?
Powerful desires eat up the best of who we are and leave us in a helpless puddle of stupidity. Acceptance of how things really are is something that trickles in very slowly over time. It’s exciting that there is evidence that the kooky things we do make sense somehow. There wouldn’t be so many love songs about breaking up if the writers hadn’t found ways to be creative with their own obsessing. There is relief in recognizing that we are hardwired to be human and therefore foolish.