Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

This you tube video ia all about love. Authentic love is all about embracing the imperfections of someone else. So many of my younger clients seem to be on a path of requiring perfection in a partner. Nobody gets all the pieces of the pie.

Too many of us strive for perfectionism, pretending that we can obtain this rare state. Perfectionism erases vulnerability which erases connections. Connections mean accepting the whole of the other person, farts and all.

Perfectionism is a very powerful internal machine that is exhausting and harsh. The impossibility of perfectionism can lead to a lot of self-destructive behavior. Is there really one correct way to fold towels? Is there really only one person on the planet you are meant to be with? Is there such a thing as the perfect holiday gathering?

I think ordinary works just fine. False expectations fuel disappointment. How many people create their disappointment because they imagine they can have an abundance of good things…….

The truth is we sleep with partners who snore and fart just like we do. The woman in the video is lucky because she is clear she was lucky to be with her imperfect partner.

This is a chinese government tv commercial. I find it refreshing. Hollywood consistently makes love too impossibly perfect. In It’s Complicated Meryl Streep has a great kitchen and she dumps it to build a perfect one, she works and never sweats, she has not one man to choose from but two. How many people in the USA does this movie reflect? No one I know.

Learning to live with our own imperfections and the imperfections of others is the stuff of life. Sharing our stories of imperfections to people who matter is what life is about.

I got an 8″ high statue of a fat cowgirl from my son-in-law for Christmas which he found hilarious because he knows how I don’t want to exercise. I give exercise more lip service than action where as, he’s pretty dedicated. So maybe the statue will be a source of inspiration…..or not. At least my family knows who I am and how to tease me with affection. My niece took pictures on my cell of everyone holding the statue to continue the attention to my own imperfections. I can live with it because it’s the truth.

6 thoughts on “Accepting Imperfections is What Makes Relationships Work

  1. Angela says:

    I believe the commercial is from Singapore and not a Chinese government tv commercial. Just wanted to let you know, love the post and the video!

  2. Anonymous says:

    It was nearly a decade ago when we went to Italy, but if I remember correctly it was either the Greeks or the Romans who’s word for death and perfection were one in the same. It echoed a saying we commonly use today except for its meaning is different for us today: nothing is perfect.

    Entropy is the concept that all things in the universe are headed into a state of disarray because the universe is a closed system. The opposite of this is the idea that things in open systems, say our bodies that take in nutrients, energy, and water, create patterns and are built. I like to think of the opposite of this too though. If the eventual state of everything in the universe is heading towards total disarray, the universe made of the same temperature, consistency, state, would that not be more so the definition of perfect, a totally uniform universe across the board? Then again, only nothing is perfect and as you point out imperfect is our reality.

  3. Rebeca says:

    What if someone has bigger flaws than farting? My boyfriend gets angry if I cry in front of him. He is proud when we argue. Should I accept this? I love him, but some of his imperfections hurt me. What do you think? I loved the post and the video, by the way, I’m just a bit confused.

    • rhodasommer says:

      I don’t have the answers for you but most of us have dark sides that run deeper than the farting in the funny video. I do believe that love is also about being a better person for someone else. If you are 13 to 26 I think self awareness is harder to come by. Lastly, how much have you really talked to him from your heart about what is hard for you, not nagged or sniped but really shared?? Things to consider….. Rhoda

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