Increasing the Range of Who We Are

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Anais Ninself development, Possibilities, what is personal growth, self growth, self improvement, personal change

Therapy is NOT about trying to take something away from you. We are all lopsided in various ways. I’m a risk taker & not as good at being careful. Growing to have more range means improving my risk taking nature to include more possibilities of attention to carefulness.

So if #1…………………………………………………………………………..#10 is Careful
is Risk

No one wants to take your adventuresome self away, the idea of psychotherapy is to add to your range from #5 thru #10. You will remain best at #1 through #5. It’s about growth to be more whole.

Anxiety is the biggest problem that arrives in the offices of any psychotherapist. Some common opposites that people with anxiety have to struggle with:

Fear………………………………………………….Courage to Face Problems & Harsh Reality

Instead of letting Fear take over & help us lie to ourselves; try to face the truth & take small steps of change. Courage is only actively present when you know you are afraid.

Anxiety……………………………………………………………………………..Acceptance

In Pittsburgh it is often surprising to parents that when their kids get married they will have to share the holidays with another family. Many parents guilt trip and act affronted because their kids may not come home for a holiday. Acceptance that life is more complicated with more people involved is the only sensible approach.

Control/Power………………………………………………………………………..Letting Go

One of the stories I tell clients is about me giving advice to our good friend Larry at Thanksgiving many years ago. (Larry & Jim are our dearest friends as a couple. When my son was a little guy; he had one goldfish & he named it Jim & Larry.) I was giving advice to Larry on loading the dishwasher & he explained it was unnecessary unless I wanted to load it myself. He was right. Letting go of your own ideas of how things should be done really matters.

People pleaser…………………………………………………..Authentic Self/more self protective

Authenticity is a word that is over used though it still is important. Authentic means being able to say you are sorry. It means being able to be vulnerable, not sticking to the safety of superficial conversations in relationships. People pleasers tell people what they want to hear to be liked. Then they lose track of themselves because they are too focused on everyone else.

Having more choices in how we respond to others really improves your relationship with yourself & with them.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Increasing the Range of Who We Are

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s