rediscovering what is authentic & what works

Better Sex, Missing out on sex?, Improving sex, Low Desire, Sex, Sex Life, Sex Missing?, Sex Matters, Stop Ignoring Sex

Sex Matters!!! Stop Pretending it Doesn’t! (0)

April 7, 2014 • Sexuality

Sex over the long haul is not mastered by many. Sex in America seems to be in the extremes, people are having it a lot or not at all. I’ve talked to many women over the years that label sex as a chore that they are too tired for. Men brighten up in the therapy… Read More ›

Couples/Relationships »

Boundaries & How to do them (4)

Boundaries,boundaries in relationships,boundaries meaning,definition of boundaries,healthy boundaries, personal boundaries, what is boundaries

Boundaries require you to risk being uncomfortable. Every relationship is about respecting the differences. The differences will not be respected if they remain unspoken. The discomfort is worth it because it’s how you grow. You can’t grow without being uncomfortable. This post is being written at the request of a reader who is perplexed by… Read More ›

Communication »

Couples Fighting & the Movie Before Midnight (0)

couple fighting, couple fight, couples fight, fighting couples, arguing couples, relationship problems, relationship issues

This movie offers a glimpse of real life in the fighting between Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy after 20 years of being together. In the first 6 to 9 years there is a lot of catering that goes on in the name of love. Then the illusions fall off & there is more work that… Read More ›

Manipulation »

The Blame Game: Demonizing the Other (1)

blamed, blame for, blame it, blames, I blame you, to blame, demonize, demonizing, manipulation

Many of us find great comfort in demonizing our ex spouses or ex friends to make it easier to banish them from our world. This is a very 1 or 10, black or white, self serving point of view. We call this either/or thinking which is always about the extremes. Psychotherapy is often about the… Read More ›

Personal Growth »

How to Live Better? (0)

How to live better, self Improvement, personal growth, personal development, self development, personal change

How to live better is a question we all should continue to ask ourselves. Aging well depends on updating your answers every year instead of maintaining the status quo. Sometimes its fear of a threat that gets us moving; “You are on the verge of being diabetic” my doctor said 2 years ago. I now… Read More ›

Divorce »

Divorce Spills Over On To Kids & the movie “What Maisie Knew” (0)

Divorce, Kids & Divorce, parenting divorce, kids cope with a breakup, helping children cope divorce, What Maisie Saw

Divorce is an opportunity for people to indulge their intensity & hoarded resentments on to everyone. Normally sane people will shriek when they meet their spouse in the grocery store. They are past caring how it looks because they are fueled by self-righteousness. Divorce is an invitation to be your worse self, even in front… Read More ›

Movies & TV »

My work with Denial & the movie American Hustle (2)

denial, american hustle, illusions, self deception, david russell director, denial, defensiveness

Denial is illusions. Illusions are denial. They are comforting & seductive. Throughout the movie there is the refrain “Everybody believes what they want to believe”. We all love to pretend to ourselves & others……we all love our self-deception. My work involves interrupting belief systems with inconvenient truths: It’s stupid to have unprotected sex in a… Read More ›

About Rhoda »

My New Relationship with India; thinking about arranged marriages & beyond stereotypes (6)

India travel, travelogue India, arranged marriage, why go to India, India, observations travel in India

I spent 17 days in India which is a remarkable country. Our trip was unusual in spending many hours driving on bad roads to see the “real” India & our efforts were well worth it! A young couple asked what I appreciated & I easily responded: First of all it’s the vividness of color everywhere;… Read More ›


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