Archive for the ‘ Manipulation ’ Category
Reality is always to be found in the messiness in between two people. Not a week goes by without listening to massive numbers of people, who are only committed to their own point of view. I watch them completely erase the other person’s concerns over & over. One example: “I can have an affair but [ READ MORE ]
Victims have a lot to learn about being more self protective. Victims have too much empathy for others & not enough for themselves. They forget to take care of themselves because they are too focused on other people. Here are 20 Questions to determine whether or not you set yourself up as a victim? 1. [ READ MORE ]
Many relationships begin when someone wants to be rescued from their life, like Cinderella who found her prince. One way to jack up your self-esteem is to be the hero for someone else. Lenny, the hero of Super Sad True Love Story admits he has a history of dating abused women that he can rescue, [ READ MORE ]
Manipulation can be as simple as “I’m not going to answer the phone when you call, then I don’t have to deal with you and tell you how I feel” or as complex as someone avoiding sex for years with their partner. The television program Mad Men is about the beginnings of manipulating people to [ READ MORE ]
A broken arm or a bloody wound demands attention. In a relationship feeling hurt does not mean an automatic entitlement to attention. Feeling hurt requires a large amount of dialogue to help both people understand what has occurred. Too often in relationships one person’s hurt becomes a way to manipulate instead, just like a toddler’s [ READ MORE ]
Manipulation of others is a great way to stay invulnerable. Manipulation is a way to hide who we really are from others. We are all a mixture of good and bad. Yet when was the last time you shared a story of being bad with someone else? When was the last time someone honestly shared [ READ MORE ]
You might wonder what Picasso, Ben Roethlisberger and Mel Gibson have in common? They are all men who ended up with power, fame and a reputation for abuse in relationships. Narcissism means other people are merely the audience. This is not about a diagnosis of narcissism, it is about the huge degree of narcissism that [ READ MORE ]
The previous post briefly described the emotional toll the game of Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor costs any relationship. I offer my triangle of mental health: First and foremost, a fearless honesty requires a willingness to look within and take responsibility for your mistakes and problems. Instead of blaming the other person, you will grow by [ READ MORE ]
In the 1970′s, Transactional Analysis created an emotional game that was labeled The Karpman Drama Triangle which is still relevant today. It looks like this: The game is profound because it is a way to manipulate over a lifetime and deceive many people. Drama, intensity and power are very seductive elements, which makes it satisfying. [ READ MORE ]
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